so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Watching her eat just hurts me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
