If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
