Jerry, you need to find god
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize