I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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