I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
