Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
