Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
