yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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