the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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