Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
