I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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