That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
