508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
