did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
