google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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