Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
