today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize