tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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