That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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