if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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