Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
