I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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