i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
