He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
