we're blogging at a bar
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
