i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
