Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize