Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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