You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize