This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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