You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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