I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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