The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
then he tried to convert me to islam
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
