Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
