Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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