this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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