can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So apparently I’m into choking now
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