your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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