There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
