just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
