I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
