I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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