Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
