Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
