I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
