Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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