Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
