If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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