i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
