just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
