careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the condom got lost in my hair
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Four minutes until I can fart!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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