i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize