i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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