my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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