if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My sheets look like a crime scene.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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