Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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