Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
