my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
