my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
